4.10.2011

Dream

The year was 1991, I was 13 years old and dreamed of standing in front of all the world in my cute little skirt and pom poms cheering my team on to victory. Popularity would ensue and life would be wonderful. A week of what I saw as hard work learning cheers and dances and trying my hardest to stretch muscles in a way that surely god had not intended! It would be perfect and I would be happy. The days came and went, flying by in a fog of sore vocal chords and the scent of Ben Gay (I told you I tried everything to get those muscles to stretch) and Friday was suddenly at my door. I couldn't eat and the butterflies were sure to make an appearance if it wasn't over soon. I hadn't learned the dance all the way, I couldn't get those splits all the way and the nerves were sure to make me faint! Then in a blur it was over. The list was posted void of the only name I looked for. I said I didn't care but the sadness was overwhelming!! I would never be a cheerleader. The dream had been crushed. Fast forward 20 years. A text from a niece that cheer tryouts would be this week. No formal training had been done, a few years of clog dancing but a cartwheel was a totally foreign thing to a little girl who shared a dream parallel to her mothers. The anguish I had as I watched my little girl try her hardest to keep up with the moves and tumble around on mats doing things she had never done before. My heart sank as I saw the dream as totally unachievable. With the help of a cousin moves were taught and techniques learned. The improvement was astounding with each hour! I saw a glimmer of light! Then the next day came and the dream seemed to be back to impossible as it just didn't seem important for her to learn the dance moves or cheers, she just wanted to hang with her friend. I said to myself, whatever I don't care, I'll just be there for her when she can't find her name on the list. The following day I dropped her off with a prayer that I wouldn't have to console all night and that she would bounce back as she usually does with her resilient little self!! Those dang butterflies were back but not for me this time but for my little girl! I had a hard time eating and I couldn't think of anything else for the 3 hours she was at the school. As I pulled up to the school I opened the door to hear screaming by a very large group of girls. I couldn't see my little girl but then the crowd of bigger girls parted all patting my little one on the back and the largest dimples I had ever seen came shining through! My heart leapt for her and for me, knowing that this is one dream I wouldn't have to pick up the broken pieces of. I know there will be other shattered dreams, because those are the places in life where we learn and grow the most, but today was not the day for her...or me!! I'm so proud of her and excited for what the next year will bring!!
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3 comments:

Staci Leach said...

It seems life has settled in fast! So proud of my little Sammy and her Mom too!

SUZANNE said...

YAY!!! I was totally touched by this, and I'm so glad she made the cheer team. And if it makes you feel any better, I have always thought you were so cute and cool and funny and smart and even if you carried pom poms around too, I would still have loved you just the same! :)

Crafty Girls said...

Congrats on becoming a "Cheer Mom"! It is a whole new world!